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SCRIPTURE - 1 Co 7:1-2                                                 NOVEMBER, 1997

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

SUBJECT - LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX, BABY (PART 2)

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Last month, in part one,we began looking at the subject, of sex. And we hardly had a chance to get started, let alone finish it, so this is a continuance. So, we will try to finish it this month. If we can't, then there will be a part three. The reason it is taking so long, is that this is something, that can't be rushed through, given the totally disastrous ramifications of not understanding fully, what we are dealing with. It is my belief, that what we are facing in our society today, and around the world, is total ignorance of a subject, that the church, not professionals, should be enlightening people about, since it is God, that created us, and the nature that we have, as pertains to this area of our lives.

When I closed last month, we were looking at how a man, that remained celibate, and was serving the Lord, could totally concentrate on the things of God, and how to please Him. By the way, the same thing could be said about women. (1Co 7:34) There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. So, if you remember, verses 32-33, marriage brings about a change in the relationship between God and man or woman, that God encourages, if a person chooses to go that route, to avoid sexual sin. This is the reason for the subject verse.

Now, back to the emotional aspects of sex.

The act of sexual intercourse, bonds a man and woman together, not only physically but emotionally. This is because, God, made the two to become one. While separated, there arise certain feelings (emotions), that can not be satisfied, by any other means, than what God designed them to be satisfied with. Money, drugs, sports, exercise, cold showers, hard work, only squelch these feelings for a while. But, they, like a new day, just keep on coming back. And, if you will notice, before you had sex, you were more able to deal with these feelings. But now, since you experience the relief that it brings, you have become hooked on it, because you have been fulfilled, if you will. You have found the cure for all of those emotions that nothing else seemed to help.

Just like a junkie, on crack, cocaine or heroin, you get hooked on sex, and you have to have that fix. Just like a junkie, you get to a point where you may find that you need it more and more. You have a bad day at work, you need a fix. Trouble with the relatives, you need your fix. Depressed because of the bills, you need a fix. People in general, driving you crazy, that fix, will get you back in shape again. That is the emotional power of sex.

Now, imagine if and when the supply of drugs runs out for a drug addict, what happens. They get desperate. They begin to do things, that they might not ordinarily do. They are liable to steal, and even kill, just to get some more. If all else fails, they might even commit suicide. Well, believe it or not, the same thing can, and often does happen, if a person, cant get sex anymore.

Example. Men, more often than women, feel that once they have a woman sexually, that the woman, belongs to them. They are his property. They may have known each other since childhood, and worked around each other for years, and been the best of friends. But, the minute they get together, the mentality of the man, and sometimes the woman, changes. Now, if the woman, who previously had many male friends, totally on a social relationship, endeavors to keep talking to the guys, this man, becomes irritated, and wants her to stop, flirting with them.

What happened??

All of a sudden, he is worried that his fix might slip away from him, and he will begin to say things, and act, irrationally.

What has happened, is that his soul, has bonded with her soul, and the two, have become one. This is why we find God saying, (Ge 2:24) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Mt 19:5-6, Mk 10:7-8) For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

That is because, they were one when there was only Adam, until God took a part of man, and made woman. And the same thing can be said for the woman. The woman, that sweet and beautiful creation, that God made for man, can get downright ugly, when it comes to sex. Ever hear that saying, hell hath no fury, as a woman scorned ??? Let that man, that her and her other female friends, used to enjoy having around, keep talking to these women, after she has gone to bed with him, and she will go off, not only on him, but her friends also.

Why is this happening???

What would you do, if someone tried to pull one of your arms, or legs off??? What about fingers??? Toes??? Ears?? Nose??? Any part of your body??? You would fight it, right??? Well, that is what is happening, in the relationship between a man and woman, that are involved sexually. They have become part of each other, and to try to separate, is like taking an arm or leg from them. They will do whatever they can, to protect, what they feel, is their property.

Yes, this is what God wants to protect us from. That is why marriage, the commitment between a man, and a woman, before God, and man, bonds the two together, with the assurance, that the two, only have eyes for each other.

Within the past few months, even years, we have seen in the news, many incidents, where jilted lovers, or spouses, faced with separation and divorce, have tracked down, and killed their partners, and in some cases, even children, because of the hurt that the separation has caused. They cant stand to think about their property belonging to someone else, so they destroy it, and even kill themselves.

Yes. Sex, in an unstable, non -committed environment, can be a disaster, waiting to happen.

It takes a special type of ability, to keep us from going ape, every time our spouse is seen with, and talking to others of the opposite sex. It takes the strength of trust, in their word, that they gave to us, in the presence of God, that they only have eyes for us. Relationships outside of marriage, don't have that at all. There is no commitment. The reason being, is that they don't want to be in a position, of being tied down. They want to play the field, and explore new things, not realizing that they are slowly losing their battle of maintaining control over themselves (emotions), and they begin to expect their partner to be true to them. What is missing in these relationships, that is the mainstay of marriage, is the strength they receive from God.

When two people marry, as mentioned earlier, they stand before God, and commit themselves to each other. As a result of this, their sexual relationship, takes on a whole new character. That is, the realization that they know that God is going to be there to fortify, and regulate their lives, and relieve the anxiety of wondering what the other is doing, when they are not around.

God, reminds them, that they committed themselves to each other before Him, and makes any thing outside of the marriage, lose pleasure, because of the guilt that comes with it. And with the pleasure gone, they lose interest. The spouse, becomes the one, from whom, the other can experience pleasure and fulfillment, through intercourse.

Another problem with the shop around, before you buy mentality is, if you have had more than one partner, and you marry someone, lets say after you have had five lovers, you may find yourself, comparing their performance in bed, to one of the others, and wishing you had still stayed with the other, and this can really mess you up. If both of you are virgins, then there is no comparison to draw from, and believe me, that is truly a blessing.

Now, there is another area that needs to be looked at, and that is the spiritual aspect of sex. Simply put, in marriage, it is blessed by God. Therefore, there is no sin involved, as we saw in (Heb. 13:4) Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled. That means, God, gives His blessing, to the act, and even gives the ability to experience the full pleasure that sex was meant to bring, only to those that are married.

You think you are experiencing pleasure outside of marriage??

Have I got news for you!!! You ain't seen nothing.

Why??

Because sex outside of marriage, always carries with it, the feeling of guilt. And that means that you have to try harder, to overcome that guilt, thus enters, the kinky stuff. Sex with more than one partner, at the same time. All sorts of man made devices, to help you derive more pleasure. All sorts of sexual perversion, that I wont mention here, but it is out there. And still, the guilt trip, makes it hard to feel satisfied after.

All sex outside of marriage, is sin. And God is not going to bless anything, that is sin. Instead, it is cursed. You are cursed. Fornication (sex without marriage), and adultery (sex without your spouse), is sin. And the spirit, is cut off from God. Of course, if you are not saved, it is already cut off. But, if you profess to know Christ, and involve yourself in this, you have just shut the door, to Gods blessing in your lives, and opened up yourself, for the devil, to come in, and destroy you.

In the spiritual realm, God has a hedge of protection around you, that the devil cant get through. As long as you walk uprightly before Him, Gods Hand, is on your life and marriage. Even if you are not saved, Gods hand, is still on your marriage, in this area. However, the minute you engage in sexual sin, you remove His hand from your marriage and life, and the devil, can gain access to you and it, and destroy everything.

(1Co 6:18) Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. Sounds to me, like you put yourself at risk, when you commit sexual sin, because you open up your body to destruction.
        
Most of you go around, feeling you are doing nothing wrong. And that is because you either haven't heard the truth, or you refuse to accept it. That is why AIDS, and other STD s, are running rampant in our society today. The sexperts say, use condoms. There isn't a condom made, that can effectively, 100% of the time, stop the AIDS virus. Many of them fail to prevent you from getting pregnant. And sperm, is about 10 or more times larger than the AIDS virus, so you see what you are up against. And further more, if you could get the perfect condom, it wouldn't protect you from the fact that you are committing sin. And that, is a spiritual thing.

The apostle Paul, who remained celibate, gives this advice to singles, and widows, and for that matter widowers, (1Co 7:8-9) I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. He is saying, in another version of the subject scripture, that it is better to remain a virgin, or celibate, after your spouse dies. However, if you cant do without sex, it is better to marry, than to burn in hell.

Now, what I have just been dealing with, is what should be talked about in your church, if you go to one. Our society today is faced with all of these problems, that I have mentioned, and more, all because preachers have failed to warn the people of the ramifications of sexual sin. Those few that do, are labeled as old prudes and such. We have many preachers, who, themselves, are guilty of sexual sin, and therefore, they wont address it.

We march around and protest when we see a big company or organization doing something to endanger our health. But, we say nothing to preachers, whose job it is, to warn us of danger, and to stand up against those that are putting us at risk. People, wake up!!!!!

Final part, next month.